Huh? That’s right. Communication is only 7% the words you use.
The rest is your tone of voice, your body language, subliminal cues you send.
When I first studied the 5 qualities I shared yesterday, plus the 5 qualities of today, my stress and aggravation went down 90% because I started enjoying every conversation I was in.
This is Part 2 of the blog post I wrote yesterday. Click Here to see the first 5 Qualities of great communication.
Number 10 today is the single most important skill.
It’s so important, I’m going to put it up front:
Have the clear intention that your communication has the purpose to make the person’s life better.
The point of these two blog posts is really that communication, like anything else,
is a learnable skill. We’re not born talking.
If you missed Part 1, here’s a summary of the first 5 qualities we talked about:
- Be Interested in the person you’re wanting to be in communication with.
- Avoid all distractions, so both you and the person is paying attention to the communication.
- Be sincere…and let your face know it. Smile, even (ESPECIALLY) if you’re on the phone.
- Be assertive, but not too assertive. (I know that seems like a challenge, but not if you are very clear about your purpose to be of service.)
- Let there be ease, no hesitation or tension, in your communication.
Today I want to share with you the next 5 qualities, Number 6- 10, to effectively communicate with others.
All 10 of these together will help you relax, feel more confident, and never worry about rejection again.
The 10th one is more important than all the others put together. Without this one, don’t even worry about the others.
#6-9 today and 1-5 yesterday all revolve around #10.
#10 Have the clear intention that your communication has the purpose to make the person’s life better.
#6. If you are meeting someone in person, don’t let your body, your clothes, your perfume distract from your message.
When I first went to Wall St., as a typist on a summer job in the early ’70’s, I was a free spirit, wearing no bra, hair to my waist, sandals. My communication was loud and clear that I was not part of the “Establishment.” However, as I got more interested in what I was typing and stood out as intelligent, my boss took me under his wing offering to teach me to be a Bond analyst.
His first lesson was to change my appearance. No one would see me or hear me or find me credible if i didn’t wear the uniform. I cut my hair, started wearing suits, real shoes and stockings. I was no longer distracting from my capabilities. I was no longer an embarrassment at a meeting.
#7. Be honest. Don’t pretend to know what you don’t know or exaggerate the qualities of your product or service. Under promise, over deliver. My greatest strength as a Wall St. analyst was my willingness to admit my ignorance and get information that other people tried to cover up their need for. Within 4 years I had become a Sr. V.P. with a sleeper company, doubling my pay annually.
In network marketing I always tell the truth about my company, my products, my team. People know, like, and trust me.
#8. Know your business. When you’re starting out, the phrase, “Ignorance on fire” is often heard. That will take you just so far. The more you learn about your industry, the company you’re with, your products, your system, the less you will actually have to explain. Don’t try to skate by with vague innuendo or hyperbolic (exaggerating, over the top) exclamations of “The Best Ever…” If you say something, be able to back it up, or know where to get the information you don’t have.
This doesn’t mean you have to use all that knowledge, explaining all the scientific data, so that a new person feels like they could never do what you do. It just means that as a leader, you have tools, resources, and clarity to back you up.
#9. Communicate at the level of the person you’re talking with. Be careful about using words like “Hyperbolic” if you’re not sure your audience would understand you. You don’t want to talk down to someone and you don’t want to talk over their head.
I hate feeling stupid and I also hate feeling patronized or talked down to. I listen for the language people use with me. I listen for the kinds of questions they ask and life experience they have had. I listen to the rate of their speech. I try to match what I hear so we are on the same wave length.
#10. This is frankly the most important communication skill of all, whether you’re in sales, or dating, or parenting, or marriage. Have the clear intention that your communication has the purpose to make the person’s life better.
I’m not going to try to sell ice to an eskimo. (I know some people will, but if I personally cannot communicate a clear benefit to the person, I won’t try to pretend there is one. Back to honesty.)
If someone has inherited a zillion dollars, but is depressed and lonely, I’m not going to try to sell them on a compensation plan that will make them a zillion dollars. I might help them to see that the business attached to that plan is helping people create better lives, works as a family, gives camaraderie and friendship, and can help others have the financial freedom they crave.
The bottom line is to be of service to another, not just try to get what you want, without regard for their well being.
As Dalai Lama said, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
To your success, Sharon H Gist
P.S. As a network marketer, I realized that to grow a real team of skilled entrepreneurs, I needed skills to talk with people, and I also needed skills to attract the right target people to me to have those conversations.
p.p.s. Everything changed with this ONE course Check it out. Write a comment below to let me know if this post was helpful to you.
inspiring and leading 1,000’s of others to live their dreams.” SHG